That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
