I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I got inside last night via doggy door
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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