Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
