i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
