Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
