Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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