I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
