so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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