well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
