Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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