The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
