I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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