OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I need water and some morals
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
