well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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