I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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