i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
