He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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