pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
