great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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