Heybabeimwearingurpanties
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
