Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Randomize
