He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
