Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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