It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
