yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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