He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
