hotel room ftw
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
