his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
