your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
