At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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