he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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