ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
and you fell through a lawn chair
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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