why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
