Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
