He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
