The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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