I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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