Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
