can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
