He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
