just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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