This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
