why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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