I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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