Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You're like the curious george of whores
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Randomize
