I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
i think my cat just said my name.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
