I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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