What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
