He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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