I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
We are two peas in an std pod
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
