Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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