Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
The best revenge is premature balding
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
